Renewing My Faith in Human Nature
While admissions travel is more often than not exhausting and not glamorous, despite the location, there are some perks. Distinctive shopping opportunities are among them, particularly when traveling abroad.
So, when in the Middle East the touted destination is the gold souk in Dubai. Last night Michael Gaynor from Villanova and I were treking the gold souk looking for presents. Despite considerable pressure from salesmen, Michael resisted and determined to meditate on what he'd seen. I demonstrated my characteristic lack of restraint and made some impetuous purchases.
The first store we went to left me cold. There was a push to look, and a push to get it over with, and a push to buy: I pushed back and said I needed to think about it. I might have gone there if there had been some humanity in the salesman's approach.
So Michael and I decided to go elsewhere. We found a small shop and the atmosphere was solicitous and accommodating with no pressure -- it was all about taking your time, gracious service, and finding what you wanted. I was impressed when the salesman asked if we'd like some bottled water or a Pepsi; I don't need a soft drink, but the kindness of the offer warmed me.
The salesmen there inquired why we were in Dubai and what we did for a living. They also seemed pleased that we were interested in them: the guy helping me was from Sri Lanka, so I of course had to get into a discussion of Sri Lankan food with him; the other guys were from India.
I really wanted to find a signet ring for my son Kieran. Today is his fourteenth birthday and in our family it is a tradition for boys to get a signet ring at 13. My eldest has had his ring for 4 years, I wanted Kieran to get his. However, with the increased price of gold I was frozen by sticker shock last year when looking at home. This store didn't have any signet rings; I showed the salesman mine and he indicated that he could have one made for me, by tonight. The price was less than half what I'd been quoted last year, and was less than the one I bought for my eldest 4 years ago, despite the price of gold going up.
The deal was tempting, but would I ever see the ring? We have next to no flex time in our visit here. The salesman asked our schedule and we indicated we were finishing a college fair and that the only time would be after 10 p.m. He assured it would be delivered. My hard boiled New York cyncism comes out often in shopping, but I got a good vibe here. So I handed over my credit card.
I don't know Dubai so I couldn't predict the outcome. However, I got the feeling that these guys were the real deal: gentlemen. Michael reinforced my impression by assuring me he thought they were honest. So, I spent the day wondering about the outcome.
As I walked in the room, my message light was on; the jewelry store had called. They would have a driver here between 10 and 10:30. However, you can't take a promise to the bank. At 10:25 the phone rang, and the courier was in the lobby. It is absolutely incredible to me that they made an exact replica of the ring I wear in 24 hours. But, the best part of it is the fact that I actually got the ring; that trusting someone else, from a different culture, and across the world actually worked. Kindness and honesty prevailed, trust prevailed: wow.
Actually, this was sort of deja vu (or "deja vu all over again" as Yogi Berra said.) A negative (and in my experience untrue) stereotype is that Colombians are dishonest. 20 years ago I was in Colombia on business and wanted to buy my wife an emerald ring. Again I had a tight schedule; the ring needed to be sized, I bought it in the morning and was flying out that afternoon. It was a big investment. I did my college fairs and went back to the hotel and waiting there, nervous that I'd left the country, was the woman from the jewelery store worried I'd left without my ring. Her relief that I was there to receive my purchase was palpable. So much for nasty stereotypes (it was one of many experiences with honesty and kindness I experienced in Colombia.)
Just yesterday I finished a great new novel "Breakfast with Buddha" by Roland Merullo. It starts as a funny novel, and keeps you smiling throughout, but is zen like and focuses on the importance of kindness and releasing one's ego to trust and savor life. I guess it was a foreshadowing of my small experience a few hours later. Maybe it inspired the confidence to take a risk on the side of assumed decency. Anyway, beyond getting what I wanted, I am pretty psyched right now over taking a risk on honesty with no evidence to support it, and that honesty prevailed. That alone made the experience worth it.
As I write this story I worry that readers will think that all we are doing is shopping -- in all honesty this was my free evening in Dubai -- after 6 p.m. with my needing to be in the lobby to leave for a visit at 7 a.m. the next morning, and today before 9:30 p.m. we had an hour and 15 minute break -- you need to make the time on these trips to have distinctive experience (i.e. sacrifice some relaxation and sleep time.) However, you need to also maximize the opportunities that you might never enjoy again.
I don't think Kieran is reading my blogs; not now at least. He's on a camping trip and doesn't get home till after I will be asleep; the time difference (11 hours) is thwarting phone contact. So, if you know him, please don't spill the beans. He has no idea he's getting the ring.